Most of our readers recognize that the Federal Way Firearms Lawyer does not merely rant about guns. In fact most of our readership recognizes the column as a source of thought provoking insight into life’s weightier questions. The fact that this column is often a Socratic dialogue that transcends mundane commercial pursuits raises the question, “How can such an inquiry be relevant to the market place in which the need to make a buck is preeminent?”

Understanding the premises of the Firearms Lawyer blog requires unabashed bumper sticker logic starting with the following three precepts:

Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.

When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will own guns.

Gun control means using both hands.

Bumper sticker has been appearing around Seattle regarding the Starbucks Memaid!

Last year the Brady Bunch added to the potential for humor with histrionics about right-wing gun activists seething with threats. One can actually observe Progressive-Liberals like Helmke, Congressman Adam Smith and his beltway twin, Anthony Weiner, exhibiting Histrionic Personality Disorders.

HPD is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriately seductive behavior, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.

They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others. Associated features may include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.

The comments in the Seattle PI’s online publication of our recent column about the Starbucks Mermaid logo with guns demonstrate that there is no joking around when it comes to Progressive sacred cows. According to one online response:

“The vast, overwhelming majority of tyranny in the world’s history is right-wing tyranny. This country fought too hard to defeat Fascism and Nazism to stand by and let their ideological brethren take over this country with flimsy excuses and cheap scare tactics. (Read Mein Kampf to see that Adolf Hitler based the vast majority of National Socialism directly on American conservatism. Fact!)”

It quickly becomes apparent that we aren’t getting comments from the sharpest knives in the PI readership’s drawer. But if the article gets republished enough maybe Congressman Weiner will log in from rehab with one of his smart and clever ripostes. Our own representative in DC is Adam Smith but he is busy studying the polls related to deficit reduction. It would be presumptuous to expect Smith to enter a dialogue that is no laughing matter for Ceasefire, the Brady Campaign and apparently a large number of baristas that would, according to Paul Hemke and company, prefer to ask armed Starbucks customers to leave rather than take a chance on some caffeine inebriated open-carry enthusiast letting off an accidental discharge or worse!

About a year ago, the Brady Campaign warned that “gun rights” activists were also converging on Washington, D.C., seething with threats of right-wing violence. And Conservatives are supposedly so paranoid compared to the smooth-tempered, reasonable libs and homophiles that have been cautiously warning for years that Christians are conspiring with Republicans to establish a Neo-Wagnerian trilogy of religion, guns and fascist repression against hoplophobes and homosexuals.

Of course, the Brady Campaign rejects the “bumper sticker logic” of the gun lobby.

The gun control group called for a new reality-based discussion of guns and violence.

Someone at the Brady Center wrote a book titled “Lethal Logic: Exploding the Myths that Paralyze American Gun Policy”. The author dissected the superficial appeal of bumper sticker logic (e.g., when guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns).

While I don’t normally display bumper stickers, I am convinced that the stickers provide profound sociological data. Which brings us to the question posed herein: What does it mean that the Starbucks lady is now on a bumper sticker carrying a handgun?

In California a few years ago, some folks were offended by fellow coffee drinkers in Starbucks (and other spots) with pistols and revolvers visibly hanging from their hips. Organizations like the Brady Center, which wants to take guns away from the rest of us, demanded that armed customers be prohibited from such publicly “lethal” expressions of free speech.

Some retailers reacted by announcing a “no guns” policy. Starbucks, on the other hand, allowed guns in its stores. The anti-gun groups held demonstrations around the U.S. to try and coerce Starbucks into changing its policy. The demonstrations spread to Seattle and resulted in swarms of reporters, demonstrators and armed caffeine addicts intermingling in an exchange of viewpoints that could have become lethal to Starbucks’ profit and loss statement.

Did the Brady Campaign encourage the bumper stickers in order to shame the coffee chain? Or did the open-carry crowd adopt the image as a means of trumpeting their victory over the progressing forces of tyranny?

There has always been a certain mystery surrounding the Starbucks lady with the star above her head. Her mermaid-like mien is normally encompassed by porpoise tails. Thus, the image of her brandishing a gun could be a shout of indignation against environmentalism — or even a new breed of environmental radicalism?

Maybe she is just a symbol of Seattle rising amid the splendors of an Emerald Sea. The Starbucks logo certainly offers something for everyone.

The next time you visit a Starbucks, thank your favorite barista for keeping us caffeinated and for protecting our First and Second Amendment rights. And give the Starbucks lady the respect she deserves for sticking to her guns!